Birth Marked

Comments

[this is good]
Inspired! :D
[this is good]

Excellent Aubrey! What a treat to read this. My only suggestion is to cut the last two lines and end with her dragging the past life with her. It is a beautiful work and one that, while being classical and well-formed, reaches into my heart and avoids sentimentality. I would even cut Artemis out, of the work. The previous words already conjure up the image of Danae (?) becoming human again. Perhaps it could be in the title or in a quote to help the reader. This is outstanding work and I would buy a book with photos and words together.

Lucy with admiration

OH!

BR! AH! VO!

(slumps back in chair gewgaw jawed staring at screen)

Aubrey!

Soon as I read, "The shadows grew flustered with color" my heart skipped.

I think it stopped completely while reading this. Gasp! I stopped breathing too!

Ab mag.

(Eh, I have no idea what gewgaw jawed means, but it sounds right!)
encore! encore!
[هذا هو الحكم]
This comment is preceeded by unpronounceable symbols because I am dumbfounded. My favorite line was "And the sound drove the homeless birds flying through the torn ceiling" because it makes one reconsider where the action is happening... You really should collect these gems into a book, Aubs--all of your Vox neighbors would buy a copy, which is no small number. This piece in particular I think could be expanded into a true short story. And by the way, are you going to submit something for the magazine? I really liked your essay on the music you grew up with. It was hip and contemporary and I think my readers would get a kick out of it.
[this is good]
What Renee said. You are amazing.
[this is good]
Fantastic! And it's so uncanny, you could be writing about my post from yesterday!
[this is good]
Beautimous!
Very beautiful, exquisite, dear Aubs.

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Aubrey

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Aubrey
United States
Would You Mind Sharing That With The Rest Of The Class?

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